Almost an Atheist
There have been a few post recently asking atheists what 'spark' starting them down the road to atheism. In conversing with many open-minded (to a degree) believers on this site, I realize that many seem to be on that same road that we once traveled, but they are perhaps stuck due to doubts or social pressures. Therefore I thought I would tackle the subject of deconversion from another angle with this question.
What was the final hurdle (mental or otherwise) that you had to overcome in order to finally reject faith and 'come out' as an atheist?
This question is obviously aimed at atheists who were once believers to one degree or another, but I would love to hear from those who never were of 'faith' also.
Tagged As:
atheism,atheist,God,
religion
12 Comments:
Good question. I've never been religious, but for a long time I was bothered by the fact that so many apparently intelligent people believe in God. Surely if educated scientists can believe in God then there must be something in it ...
It was actually religious education lessons at middle school that gave me confidence in my atheism. We were taught about religions other than Christianity. Realising that there are multiple conflicting religions was a revelation for me. My arrogance in rejecting the established view seemed insignificant against the arrogance of claiming any particular religion was the right one.
I actually wrote an atheist testimonial on my blog:
http://cyclops686.blogspot.com/2005_05_01_cyclops686_archive.html
I think answers are going to depend on whether you are using "come out" to mean admit it to oneself or admit it to others. Most of us experience tremendous social pressure not to discuss our atheism publicly. This would be my major hurdle in being more open about it. As for admiting it to myself, I don't recall any particular obstacle.
My big moment was when my uncle died. I was sitting around with my father, talking about his brother, and he said something like "At least he's in a better place now." I looked him right in the eye and said "Do you really believe that?" And he sighed and said "Nope". It was a breakthrough for both of us, as we were both at one time pretty fervent Christians. I finally realized I was definitely an athiest when at that particularly sad time in my life, I wasn't able to take comfort in the fairy tales anymore.
Levendis,
My father just passed away in August and I actually delivered the eulogy at his funeral. That was followed by a 30 minute sermon by a Southern Baptist preacher where he pointed out that if you were not 'living your life for jesus', your life is a complete waste.
My dad's death was the first big test of my completely 'coming out' as an atheist and I never had any doubts at all. Unfortunately, the rest of my family were saying things like 'he is looking down on us now', 'he is with his mom now' etc.
Alan, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I have never lost anyone very close to me aside from my uncle, so I can only imagine the pain coupled with the frustration of being surrounded by people who are saying things which you know to be empty platitudes (and having to keep your mouth shut about it). Loss of a loved one is one of the things that often reinforces or even installs faith in people, and that's one of the things that makes me really mad about religion. It takes advantage of a person's grief, much like a burglar or con-man browsing the obituaries for a ripe target.
I (almost) pity those who fall into that trap, and I commend those are able to survive it with their common sense intact.
I was teaching in Japan and had been reading skeptical books for a while. Having been brought up RC and, when I was young, had even been a youth group leader, I always had a belief in God.
I was questioning my beliefs in the normal ways (Why is my belief right and all the others wrong? Can they all be wrong?) and trying on different spiritual paths (Shintoism, Buddhism). This one day, I was teaching a class of adults and I was using a story about ghosts. I got the students to tell ghost stories to listen to their grammar when one of them asked, "Do you believe in ghosts, Mike?"
I said I didn't. The next day, she came in and said, "If you don't believe in ghosts, then you don't believe in God, right?"; she had this "I got you" look on her face.
I said, "No. I don't believe in God." It was the first time I had ever said it out loud and it freaked the student out. After that day, I realized that the sun would still come out if there was no god(s) out there. I've only had my thoughts reinforced since that day and I've never looked back.
Thanks Levendis, I really appreciate that.
Thanks BigHeathenMike for your response.
I wish we could explain the feeling that we have to believers - it is hard to even put into words here - the knowledge that belief in 'God' is completely useless - a total waste of time and energy and it takes valuable days, weeks, and years from peoples lives.
What a priveledge to wake up each morning without the ball and chain of God on you.
For me, I've never been a believer. But, I've grown up in a very religious region. I sort of internalized all the negative stereotypes about atheists that our culture, even in the most liberal of circles, presents. So I used to tell myself I was an agnostic or something like that; sure, I might not believe all this "god" stuff, but at least I'm not one of "those people". Eventually, exposure to other atheists, and to a little of that old time philosophy, made me realize that I wasn't being honest with myself, and that its okay to be an atheist -- in fact, its the right thing to be. And that one shouldn't have to apologize for speaking the truth.
I grew up in the 70s – I became a Christian in 1976 – it lasted until 1979. The turning point for me was a near death incident which happen in the summer of 78 and Jim Jones. In the near death incident, I drowned while on a church sponsored canoe trip to the Kern River. I was rescued by my youth pastor – in the conversations that followed he talked a lot about God and I talked a lot about what really happened. God was not involved, I had an accident and if not for a heroic and unselfish act on the part of my youth minister, I would now be dead. It started me thinking…
I had met Jim Jones a year or two earlier as part of a mission support program my church sponsored. I helped raise money for the Peoples Temple. In November of 78 the Jonestown massacre happened. People I know died. This tragic event coupled with a corrupt local church lead me to re-think the whole Christianity thing. I did much reading and soul searching – buy June of 79 I was calling myself an Atheist.
Wow Mojoey, those were some pretty incredible incidents that happened to you. Glad you made it through all of that in one piece and in reason!
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